The Witch

...has arrived so on to cycle 3.

Waiting

Temp dropped this morning, so I'm just still waiting on AF to arrive. Funny how when AF is supposed to actually start, all of the cramping and everything has completely stopped. That AF is a cruel witch!

Limbo

DICTIONARY
limbo
Definition
lim·bo [ límbō ]
NOUN
1. state of
oblivion: a state in which somebody or something is
neglected or is simply left in oblivion

in limbo in a state of uncertainty or of being kept waiting

Totally what I'm feeling right now. Being in limbo, in most cases (like a pending home loan application, waiting for the phone call after a job interview, etc) is worse than having an actual answer. At least with a 'yes' or 'no' you have an answer, closure, chance to move on and figure your next move. Today is 11dpo. Still no AF...still no BFP...still no answer. My temp went back up today, so I suppose yesterday could have been implantation. Implantation on 10dpo with a 10-11 LP doesn't seem so good. If it is implantation, will my body be able to switch gears in time so my body can grow and nuture the new life? Limbo. All HPTs (10miu and 25 miu) have been negative. Not even the faintest of lines. I have been reading that some women will test positive on higher miu tests, yet still show negative on the lower miu tests. I have one FRER tucked away so if my temp doesn't drop a lot tomorrow, I'll use it along with another 10 and 25 miu.

I pray that I will see BFPs.

I pray there be an end to the limbo.

9DPO update

So the cramping I was having went away this afternoon, but has been replaced with the "I'm feeling wet like AF has started" since early this afternoon. Of course she hasn't arrived yet (and I hope she keeps it that way).

CD21/9DPO

So today is 9 dpo. My chart is still so beautiful, yet I feel like AF might be on her way. I've been cramping for almost a week now. It started out with the good pinching/tugging, but it has gotten stronger and more AF-like now. I was so nauseated yesterday that I finally had to take 1/2 a Phenergan (anti nausea med) after two hours of tossing in bed/getting up and running into the bathroom. If this is the start of morning sickness, its starting sooner than with my other two pregnancies.

Back to my triphasic chart. I found some really interesting info from Fertility Friend (FF), but I will share just a few excerpts.....

A triphasic chart is not a definite sign that you are or are not pregnant. It is just increasing your probability if you also have well-timed intercourse. Likewise, you can be pregnant and not have a triphasic pattern. Like all signs of possible implantation or pregnancy, you can really only speculate about it once a pregnancy has already been confirmed.

FF considered a batch of the most recent charts analyzed on the FertilityFriend.com web site. 149,781 recent charts were considered. For each chart considered we took note of the following: the ovulation day whether or not a triphasic pattern was detected which day after ovulation a triphasic pattern was detected pregnancy test results. We did not consider any chart for which no intercourse during the fertile window was recorded. In other words, all charts considered had a chance to result in pregnancy. We measured the frequency of the occurrence of the triphasic pattern in our sample for both pregnancy charts and charts not leading to a pregnancy.

Results:
Frequency of a Triphasic Pattern for pregnancy charts: 12.46%
Frequency of a Triphasic Pattern for non-pregnant charts: 4.47%
Average Days Past Ovulation (DPO) when this pattern occurs: 9 DPO

The results show that the triphasic pattern indeed occurs more frequently on pregnancy charts. Especially interesting are the following results: The magnitude of the difference is quite significant. This pattern is 179% more frequent on pregnancy charts. Although these results confirm that the triphasic pattern is indeed a possible early pregnancy sign it also shows that it is not an absolute sign either as the pattern also appears on non-pregnant charts. In practical terms this means that seeing this pattern on your chart is indeed a good sign but it is not an assurance that you will be pregnant. Not seeing the pattern on your chart is likewise not an indication that you are not pregnant. It is also important to recognize that there are a variety of other factors that may influence the probability of pregnancy in any cycle.

So as you can see this is REALLY good news. I pray that I am in the 12.46% category!! AF stay away and let me get a BFP tomorrow!

2WW

The dreaded 2ww, at least for me, is always the hardest part of the cycle. The "am I?/aren't I?" thoughts that plague you, the analyzing every sign and symptom, the self doubts of "its all in my head" or "I must be crazy" that swirl around. For two weeks, you can reach every emotion, even when you try to relax and put all of that out of your head. And for me, I don't even have a true 2ww since my LP is only 10-11 days. As crazy as I feel some days, I think it would be even worse if I had to wait and extra 3-4 days every month. LOL.

But today I have something to make me smile! I know you can have a beautiful chart and not end up being pregnant, just as you can have a not-so-pretty chart, yet be pregnant. I overlayed this months chart (in purple) to the green chart, which is from when I got my BFP with my daughter. The similarities just look so good. Of course, I won't know for another few days if this even means what I think it means, but in the meantime I can pray, dream and hope that is does.

CD14/2DPO

I kept taking OPKs the other day while we were out of town and they finally went back to - later that night. I got a temp spike the next day to confirm O. (I usually O very soon after + OPKs, while most women don't O for 12-36 after a +.) So now I'm in the 2ww and should get crosshairs tomorrow. We only BD one time during the fertile period though, so I'm not too optimistic about this cycle. But all it takes is one sperm, so I pray those sperm were sitting there ready and waiting!!

Ovulation is on its way!

I know you are not suppose to use FMU for OPKs, but we are about to leave town this afternoon and I didn't know if I would get a good enough hold before we left so I took one with FMU this morning. I then took another one 1.5 hours later. Both were +, but I'm taking some with me to test again later tonight just to make sure. This will be the earliest I've ever O'd (I normally O between CD14-16 and today is CD12). I'm still having lots of EWCM, so I'm sure its an accurate +.

A little change up

Looks like I might O a little early this month! I've already started getting watery and EWCM. This might actually be good since we are planning on going out of town this weekend and we won't be able to BD later.

Sigh

TMI post: Yesterday after the temp rise, I had a little pink tinged CM (Another unsual thing as I normally just go into a heavy flow, never spotting unless its late at night right before I start during the night). All day long I kept thinking AF had finally started so I kept going to the bathroom to check, but nothing was there. Even into the night, I was having AF cramps, but nothing was on my pad. This morning my BBT was lower again and I knew it was only a matter of time before AF would finally rear her ugly head. Sure enough, a little bit ago she made her apperance known.

So onto the next cycle.....

Confused

Today I'm 12 dpo, when my LP is usually 10-11 days. My temp took a big dive yesterday (part of that was I only had 3 hours of sleep, but took my temp at normal time...I then feel back asleep for another 3 hours and took it again....slighly higher, but I still marked the first temp since they were both drops) Lots of pulling/tugging all week, but yesterday started more AF type cramps. I kept going to the bathroom thinking I started, but nothing. Today I took my temp for the heck of it since AF hadn't started yet and it actually ROSE a little (and it was even a litle chilly in the room)! Not enough to suggest a true rise after implantation dip. Tested....BFN of course. I never rise once I start dropping to signal AF on the way so maybe I'm not out yet! Guess we'll see what today and tomorrow brings.

On its way out...

...cycle 1 that is. Today, 11 dpo, my temp took a large dive meaning AF will arrive tonight or tomorrow. I'm rather shocked and disappointed, especially considering all of the symptoms I've been having lately (I don't normally have monthly issues/symptoms), but maybe its just my body getting back into rhythm since the surgery. Praying next month will bring us better news.