Our journey is over.....

Dr K called me just now to talk about our next step. Basically, he doesn't think another round of meds will help because I'm 'more a tubal patient and not a IF patient, per se'. We knew the meds weren't going to give us that much of a better chance since I do O on my own, but we tried them because that all thats left that we can try. He really thinks it could be just a simple egg-met-sperm issue, whether because of something in my tubes (CIS showed them open, but something else could be preventing passage) or sperm/CM issue. (DH's SA came back fine.) So, he said our only options are IUI or IVF, both of which we won't do, so its the end of the road for us. We don't even get one more chance at the meds. I have been trying to prepare myself for this, but I'm so freaking upset right now.

Just what I thought

I wasn't going to go get my beta drawn this morning (since the many BFNs already gave me my answer), but since my temp rose a little this morning and I was headed to that part of town anyway, I thought was the heck.

They just called with my result and its <2. (A positive pregnancy level is >5) Not a big surprise.

Since I stopped the progesterone 2 days ago, AF should arrive soon then its on to our last TTC cycle.

Disappointment yet again.

Sigh.....

The last two days my temps have dropped, (I was hoping yesterdays temp was possible implantation and that today I would have a rise) coupled with the fact that I have very little pregnancy symptoms, this cycle seems to be a bust. I'm not sure when AF will start since I'm on the progesterone. I'm not going to be taking anymore this cycle so hopefully it won't prolong it too much. I'm supposed to go get a beta at my RE's office tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I will go get one done. FRERs hasn't showed anything and with temp drops it seems kinda pointless.

DH and I have decided that next cycle will be our last TTC. If we don't get pregnant, we won't TTA (try to avoid or prevent pregnancy), we just won't be actively TTC.

I'm still praying for my miracle.

100th

This is my 100th post on this blog. I honestly thought I would have been able to announce a BFP long before now, but unfortunately that has not been the case.

I'm 8 DPO this cycle and not a whole lot is going on. I've been slightly nauseated off and on the last few days, tired, but not sleeping worth crap. I've also been having some cramping on and off.....but its so light I don't think it means much of anything. Overall, I'm not too optimistic for this month. Of course, with DD, I thought I was 'out' then too. Stark white BFN on 9 dpo, but then a blazing BFP on 10 dpo. So anything is possible and I pray that I'll have good news to share soon. Yep, announcing a BFP in a few days would be great. :-)

Officially gone

Todays HPTs show that my trigger is officially gone! Now, we just wait for *hopefully* implantation to happen and a real BFP to show up next week!

Trigger Update

My wondfos have been SUPER light today and OPKs are negative. The last one I just took an hour ago is a super squinter, so I think its safe to say that it will be completely gone by morning. I was hoping my package of answer tests would be in today so I could use one of them, but they are still in transit.

In other news, a dear friend sent me a picture of her + HPT this morning! I won't go into details, but her and her husband have been through the ringer and deserve this incredible news. I'm am SO excited for them and hope they have a happy and healthy 9 months. Congrats Doreen and Michael!! (I wasn't going to say their name because we have some mutual friends and I didn't want to spill the beans until she told them, but she just made an announcement so I think its ok) :-)

Trigger Progression

Here are pics of my trigger progression so far....

Wondfos 1, 2 and 4 DPT (days post trigger). I'm not a fan of these so much as they are very light. They actually look better in picture form (because I can blow them up) than they do in person.

 

CBE OPKs 2 and 4 DPT. Still get smiley faces. 

 

FRER 1 and 4 DPT. I love how bold these tests show up. Its really hard to mistake what your result is on these. 

 

I have some Answer tests coming in soon, but in the meantime I will continue to use the Wondfos and OPKs. Other than that, not much else going on except for some occasional nausea, cramping and bloating.

Cramps, super sized

I've had cramps ever since the trigger shot, but whoa, super cramps this morning! I was also so bloated, it felt like a big rubber band was around my abdomen squeezing me. This is definitely the strongest O pains I've ever felt!

To satisfy my POAS urges, I've been peeing on hpts to check my trigger progression. I took a wondfo yesterday with FMU and it was SO light that I got worried that maybe my trigger wasn't going to be good enough. I ended up taking a FRER later last night and it was super dark in seconds. I took another wondfo this morning and while its a little darker than yesterdays, its still very light. I'm not sure I like those tests very much! Guess thats what you get with a cheap test. Since I still have about 10 left, I'll keep using them and then confirm with FRER. I also ordered some answer tests, so those will be here in a few days. FX these are the last batch of hpts I ever have to buy!!

I'll post my progression pics in a few days when my trigger starts to leave.

CD11 and trigger happy

I've been taking my Clomid and Follistim (FSH) like a good girl. Luckily, few side effects except for headaches and some slight nausea. Today, I went in for my u/s check to see how my little eggies are growing. A Dr (a new lady that I haven't met before) said I have three follicles....a 20.73mm, 15.37 and a 10.76. She said the 10.76 wouldn't do anything and the 15.37 may or may not release. She said my lining looked good, at over 11.8 and overall was very happy on how I have responded to the meds. She told me to trigger tonight and to BD tonight and tomorrow. (We aren't doing IUI, just TI.) I did my trigger about 2 hours ago and I'm already a little crampy now. Not sure if its from the shot (if so, boy that works fast!) or what. My OPKs have not even been close to +. (Even though I'm doing a trigger, I've been testing with them over the last few days just because it gives me something to pee on. LOL)

Over the next few days, I'll be testing out my trigger. From what I've been reading, it'll take approx 6-7 for the trigger to leave my system and then hopefully it will be replaced by a true BFP!! FX!!

Stick it to me

My meds arrived at 930 this morning! It arrived in such a huge box, that I was wondering what I got myself into to. Turns out it was 90% ice cooler and ice packs. LOL. Anyway, here is all of my goodies for this month. Follistim Pen, Follistim cartridge, Ovidrel syringe, sharps container, alcohol wipes and a fertility DVD. (Since DH is a nurse and I am a former paramedic, we didn't need to review the dvd). I figured since I have to do the BBT, peeing on OPKs/HPTs, ultrasounds and the whole bit, the least he can do is give me my shots so he's more involved with the process instead of just BD'ing. I wish it was still that simple for me too......